is no good or bad.
only thinking it will make it so.
-Billy Shakespeare.
3/31/09
3/24/09
3/21/09
never have i
realized it so.
after this.
go call whoever you're going to call.
go hang out with them.
make yourself feel better.
why say i guilt trip you if you act like you dont care in the first place?
it shouldn't even phase you anyway right?
lol, it hurts.
after this.
go call whoever you're going to call.
go hang out with them.
make yourself feel better.
why say i guilt trip you if you act like you dont care in the first place?
it shouldn't even phase you anyway right?
lol, it hurts.
3/17/09
its no wonder.
to be honest, this is just a scramble of thoughts that's in my head.
i'm not gonna categorize who and what
just because that might cause a whole stir of debates.
figures that i'm so easily angry now these days.
i'm tired of all you punks
acting like you know life and you've experienced everything.
if not everything, then enough to "part wisdom"
among others your age when you know its not guidance they're looking for
but someone sit there and listen to their problems.
no wonder nobody honestly likes you.
your "genuine" antics are full of shit.
and for all of you kids going acting like you're so self-righteous.
and then talk shit about that weird kid in the back of class.
that "stupid" kid that wont amount to anything.
that teacher that didnt let you make up your test because your ass was "sick."
and all those other people who apparently aren't justified enough for whatever decision they made
that you don't agree with.
shut the fuck up and grow up.
i cant stand people like you.
people know you're full of shit.
stop defending yourself and making excuses about your actions.
if you're really genuine and you know it, that's fine enough.
dont go making yourself look more stupid than you already do.
argh.
i'm not gonna categorize who and what
just because that might cause a whole stir of debates.
figures that i'm so easily angry now these days.
i'm tired of all you punks
acting like you know life and you've experienced everything.
if not everything, then enough to "part wisdom"
among others your age when you know its not guidance they're looking for
but someone sit there and listen to their problems.
no wonder nobody honestly likes you.
your "genuine" antics are full of shit.
and for all of you kids going acting like you're so self-righteous.
and then talk shit about that weird kid in the back of class.
that "stupid" kid that wont amount to anything.
that teacher that didnt let you make up your test because your ass was "sick."
and all those other people who apparently aren't justified enough for whatever decision they made
that you don't agree with.
shut the fuck up and grow up.
i cant stand people like you.
people know you're full of shit.
stop defending yourself and making excuses about your actions.
if you're really genuine and you know it, that's fine enough.
dont go making yourself look more stupid than you already do.
argh.
3/7/09
it feels like
i dont have anywhere or anyone to go anymore.
at least, i feel like it.
i'm sure i'll have one or two friends say "you know you can always go to me."
but nonetheless, even still,
i feel like i cant go to my friends because these fights are all just trivial to them.
i can't go to my family because i never talk with them anymore, nor do they probably even care to hear it.
cant even go to my best friends because i feel like i'm just burdening them
when they're busy with their own lives.
i cant run to her because its me and her that are fighting in the first place.
even if i tried, i feel like its constantly that i'm reminded of how bad a person i am.
how terrible a person i am.
how much she hates me.
how much its my fault.
how much i never give her a reason to believe anything.
and then she makes it look like i dont really care at all.
but it actually does hurt.
"i'm always a liar."
"i never try."
"i'm useless."
"i dont care about you."
and then after you say what you wanna say, you leave and take a nap.
leaving me here feeling like shit while i wait for you to wake up, and then probably continue
reminding me how much i never care.
but its fine, because i never change even if i say i do.
its the first time i'm really writing about how i feel on this damn website.
that's because i used to care about people reading this and then having some negative feeling towards my own feelings.
but now i dont care, because i feel like i have no place to go.
because now i feel like i have no one to run to.
i have to resort to using a damn website and keyboard to "listen" to my problems.
all because i feel like i dont have anything else to turn to.
i'm such a bad person.
its not even sarcasm to reply to anything you've ever said to me.
i am.
i dont even follow what i tell others.
i dont even believe in my own "morals."
i'm always a hypocrite.
i always lie.
i always care about what people think.
i am fake.
i have anger problems.
i have issues.
i'm admitting this now because this is what i've come to realize over the past year.
i dont think i really deserve any attention or compassion or any true friendships.
this is not even unfortunate for me, being that this is naturally who i am.
what's it called when you realize how something is and you want it to change?
but you dont change it.
its called being lazy right?
yeah... i'm disgustingly lazy.
i think this is what i get for being such a shitty person.
a self-loathing attitude.
at least, i feel like it.
i'm sure i'll have one or two friends say "you know you can always go to me."
but nonetheless, even still,
i feel like i cant go to my friends because these fights are all just trivial to them.
i can't go to my family because i never talk with them anymore, nor do they probably even care to hear it.
cant even go to my best friends because i feel like i'm just burdening them
when they're busy with their own lives.
i cant run to her because its me and her that are fighting in the first place.
even if i tried, i feel like its constantly that i'm reminded of how bad a person i am.
how terrible a person i am.
how much she hates me.
how much its my fault.
how much i never give her a reason to believe anything.
and then she makes it look like i dont really care at all.
but it actually does hurt.
"i'm always a liar."
"i never try."
"i'm useless."
"i dont care about you."
and then after you say what you wanna say, you leave and take a nap.
leaving me here feeling like shit while i wait for you to wake up, and then probably continue
reminding me how much i never care.
but its fine, because i never change even if i say i do.
its the first time i'm really writing about how i feel on this damn website.
that's because i used to care about people reading this and then having some negative feeling towards my own feelings.
but now i dont care, because i feel like i have no place to go.
because now i feel like i have no one to run to.
i have to resort to using a damn website and keyboard to "listen" to my problems.
all because i feel like i dont have anything else to turn to.
i'm such a bad person.
its not even sarcasm to reply to anything you've ever said to me.
i am.
i dont even follow what i tell others.
i dont even believe in my own "morals."
i'm always a hypocrite.
i always lie.
i always care about what people think.
i am fake.
i have anger problems.
i have issues.
i'm admitting this now because this is what i've come to realize over the past year.
i dont think i really deserve any attention or compassion or any true friendships.
this is not even unfortunate for me, being that this is naturally who i am.
what's it called when you realize how something is and you want it to change?
but you dont change it.
its called being lazy right?
yeah... i'm disgustingly lazy.
i think this is what i get for being such a shitty person.
a self-loathing attitude.
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