now i feel bad

but not like in a guilty way.
my finger is cut and gashed a little from work.


and this band-aid is falling off.
:[

honestly

i dont really enjoy life much anymore, a little more than half of the time.
yeah, i have a lot of things, but i'm not a happy person.
at least not as happy as i was before.
the more i think about it the more i hate my life.
the more i dislike who i've become.



hahaha, that's why i love work, because it's a different world from the real one.
where all i gotta focus on is cooking and cleaning.
it's my fucking sanctuary from everyone else's bullshit.
i dont have to worry about anything until my work day is over.







even if this is venting, i'm disliking my life more and more just by writing this.
i know its all in my head
but i can't help it.

it's sad

when you get lied to in front of your face.
and you know it.


[non-related]

i cant stand

people that are all like, "i'm high on God."
and praise Jesus Christ, and then go talk shit 15 minutes later
like it ain't no thing.


and some people's excuse is some bullshit like "we're all sinners."

word.
so if we're all sinners, and you acknowledge it,
and praise God and make it sound like you wanna go to heaven,
then you should close your mouth when shit starts to seep out of it.
be real.


its like you can only repent while you're at church
and when you're outside of it, the only thing that comes out of your mouth
is shit about other people.

fuck you.
yeah, i'm an angry person.



**i'm not saying all church-goers are this way
just some.

for those of you who go to church and actually try to repent, without the judging and gossip, and are real in general.
then you keep on doin' you, and you'll get what you want.